Force

This is really weird for me, but all these sadness suddenly transform into a really positive energy and am really feeling motivated to do my work.

Dear friend, how i wish i could talk to you more now. Although you know nothing much about my course, what you said that day really gave me the courage to move on. This feeling right now, no other people can make me feel this way. Thank you.

To be honest, i missed you, alot, but i shall try to move on. Losing this friendship, i cannot let this happen.

50-50

a.... I know it's not possible for me to start a relationship with a guy best friend. They said it's either you will be very happy together or it just kills that friendship that we shared for so long. You treat me as brother, i'm sure you will not feel the same way i did.

Had a crush on you and that was really really long ago and i thought i can forget about this completely. Felt things that shouldn't be, every single time, why, everytime you ask me out i will feel something, it's not fair. Although we don't meet that often, but you always ask me out during semester break, you're the one that makes me feel like i'm not left out. I'm not the type of girl you would look up to either. That day you showed it all, that we only could just stay as friends. 

No, i do not want to kill this friendship, i know you since elementary school, nope, not gonna kill this! I'm gonna hide away all these feelings, time will heal. Everything will get better in time. If i put effort to forget about it, it will fade. 

to myself: "you will be alright, stay strong"

My current mood: All in my head - Tori Kelly