The Flame That Dies Out

I am not as hardworking that i used to be anymore, i used to finish my assignment during holidays so i would not have to rush when it's near deadline, i guess i changed. I'm totally the opposite right now, not motivated to do anything during my CNY break.

I think i'm a coward, selfish and ridiculous, i don't wanna die in my assignments yet i still couldn't start my assignments. Worst thing is i don't wanna die alone, that's not a really nice thought. What was i thinking?

I really hated group work, i feel like i can't communicate with my other group members and i am slow at understanding, ended up i have to re-do or do extras so that i hope my members do not blame me for not contributing anything.

Right now, i'm sacrificing my essay for this stupid group work, i know i'm gonna die in my essay, 101% sure. I'm gonna have to prepare to stay back during my sem break to re-do my essay. I can feel it. Maybe we all know that stuff that you don't put effort in, you surely will get your punishment.

I don't know what am i doing right now. Everything just pissed me off so so so much.

Just keep Swimming

Move on suhan, you know it's impossible from the beginning, focus on your assignments please.

Game over.

Reaching

Not feeling very confident right now. Well, actually i shouldn't, i shouldn't be thinking all these while i in a hurry to finish off my assignments. Get a grip! No time to lose, finish them all like a cheesecake!!!!!!!!!!

Fired up.

K.O. just like that

These few days i've been sleeping hell alot. I feel so tired that even when i'm doing assignments or just simple research online, i fell asleep. Sometimes i feel mad to myself after waking up everyday for sleeping too early, way too early. I'm not sure whether am i physical tired (not possible because i did not do any sports) or even mentally tired (not possible too because nothing is troubling me for now). I don't see why i feel so tired recently, no deadlines, nothing.


oh dear, if i continue to be like this, i cannot even finish my assignments. I fell asleep too early yo!

ARGHHH! is there any way to stay awake except for drinking coffee??? =<

What if you do not have the talent?

Most of the time, people would said that people who studied design, their creativity and skills in design are in their blood. Which later on, i found out that it is not true. I myself, is studying a graphic design course. I do not have the creativity in me. I worked for days just to come out with a solution while a few of my classmates always worked in the last minute, but in the end, the design solution they came out with really beat me to the ground, or should i say, i felt really disappointed? seeing how people can come out with wonderful works in a short time, while i, average is the word to describe my work, sometimes, worse.

Which always leads me to think how unfair could this world be. My parents always tell me nothing is fair. I knew that, it's just hard for me to accept it that i wasn't doing really great in this field. Although i do know that, no matter what i just have to work really hard in order to catch up with my classmates, well, sometimes i just can't stop thinking why is it so unfair. I even doubted myself most of the times, whether am i running the right path, whether am i going to reach my destination one day, or just running in circles.

And yes, i do complain alot. Even my close friends couldn't stand the way i do things, complain all the way while i need to finish my assignments. I just wanted to feel how is it like to create an awesome work =D