Show

Maybe i'm a show off, no good but still a show off.

Alot of "but" 's

I really wouldn't think that much when i sketch/doodle, but this time is different. I'm really eager to see, LOVE to see different kind of illustration style, looking at them just makes me happy, but this this i feel a little different. I know shouldn't lock myself up in my own world, we should go out and we learn and we improve. But after seeing people's sketches and drawings (they are really really awesome), i start to have doubts again. My illustration style is really boring, and to be precise, nothing special. I'm not sure anymore, like i said, i wouldn't bother thinking about all these when i draw, but now i do, and it scares me, if i don't see the world, i would not know where i stand, i would improve. ugh! i don't even know what am i thinking anymore.

This isn't the right time to think about all these. Sem break is near, so excited!!! Thailand trip with my classmates and lecturers and i want to learn to sew! 2 more weeks to go, which means, 2 more weeks of hell to go through, i hope i made it through >..< GANBATTE!

The Flame That Dies Out

I am not as hardworking that i used to be anymore, i used to finish my assignment during holidays so i would not have to rush when it's near deadline, i guess i changed. I'm totally the opposite right now, not motivated to do anything during my CNY break.

I think i'm a coward, selfish and ridiculous, i don't wanna die in my assignments yet i still couldn't start my assignments. Worst thing is i don't wanna die alone, that's not a really nice thought. What was i thinking?

I really hated group work, i feel like i can't communicate with my other group members and i am slow at understanding, ended up i have to re-do or do extras so that i hope my members do not blame me for not contributing anything.

Right now, i'm sacrificing my essay for this stupid group work, i know i'm gonna die in my essay, 101% sure. I'm gonna have to prepare to stay back during my sem break to re-do my essay. I can feel it. Maybe we all know that stuff that you don't put effort in, you surely will get your punishment.

I don't know what am i doing right now. Everything just pissed me off so so so much.

Boom Boom Pau

It's only the second day of Chinese New Year and i already had an argument with my mom, early in the morning! Not sure is it something wrong with me, or something wrong with everybody. I hate it when people rush me for stuffs. I am suppose to edit family pictures that i took yesterday because relatives wanted to see them on facebook (badly) and so i stayed up so i could finish edit them, end up falling asleep, as usual. And then, mom suddenly told me that we're leaving at 10am for Penang while i am editing the pictures in the morning. WHAT THE FUCK!??? now you wanna fuck with me?! I am already rushing to edit all the pictures and now you tell me you're leaving at 10am and i did not pack my bags, AT ALL. 

I don't wanna argue anymore, it's only the second day of chinese new year, since when CNY become so different.. It's just too different.

Another Chance

(i know, i'm weird to be this attached to my ipod)

Just gone true a really bad weekend. Friends argue with each other although they didn't even meet before, ipod start up button sinked in!!!!! and i couldn't see the screen anymore. I hope it can be fix, went to Apple store yesterday and they told me the service centre was located in another area, and i had to take the bus there, which i couldn't because i'm going back to my hometown tomorrow. I think i did not treat my ipod right, feeling guilty and sad. I am really, really worried that they couldn't fix it. It just feels like part of my memories are inside there,  i really hope that it can be fixed =( I couldn't focus on whatever i'm doing for now, i just couldn't. Although Chines New Year is near, but there's still a mixed sad feeling inside me. 

If there's another chance, i really need it. 

Panic Attack

Here we go again, another group project working on refining our college's corporate identity. I really don't like group work and I'm feeling really stressed out right now, my working pace is really slow and i'm afraid i would drag teh whole group down. WHAT TO DO!