Sad Sunflower

I feel quite disappointed, not sure is it with myself or somebody else. Did not manage to go consultation for my essay yesterday, lecturer said that she has appointment to rush, and she told me on Tuesday that she will be free at 4pm. Great, just great, walked out just to see her and end up couldn't, essay title is not settle yet! ughhhh

Twisted Treats

Yesterday my classmate, Jack treat me this biscuit after our presentation.(thanks Jack!) AAAA! i miss eating this biscuit so much and i asked my parents to buy me one packet when i got home. I used to eat these, ALOT, when i was a kid. It looks alot like hair braids but it's caramel brown in colour, and crunchy, and sometimes coated with sugar. I just love how the way it falls apart when i bite this biscuit. 

Munch Munch Munch! 

Work Hard or Work Smart?

Today i cried in class, i wasn't really satisfy with my stop motion video, knowing that i blew up this opportunity to produce much better work. Been working on my video like crazy for days, i can't feel my eyes anymore, my sleeping time is so messed up right now, my back aching, my whole body feel like dying. I just feel so awful this afternoon. I really am disappointed with myself. I feel like working hard, putting so much effort is just wasted. Not sure should i change to working smart, which i don't know how because i'm not as creative as other of my classmates, i couldn't come out with an idea in such short time.

Well, i feel better after going out for lunch with my classmates after my submission. Went for window shopping, came back, watched my favourite anime, feel much better not thinking about the work that already submitted.

So sleepy right now in the same time i want to draw but still, i want to sleep.

Because it's empty

self portrait 

what's going on?

Unfamiliar

I know you're busy but i really wish i could talk to you more. Been feeling really empty since you left, and i shall fill in the blank pages myself.

Who's gonna accompany for doodles and life drawing when i'm there? =(

Dozing off

oh dear, it's really killing, to stay up all night, it really kills... don't understand why in the end i still have to rush my assignments, why is my working pace so slow? I NEED SLEEP!

Just keep Swimming

Move on suhan, you know it's impossible from the beginning, focus on your assignments please.

Game over.

B

WEEEEE, gonna have cheese for tomorrow's breakfast.
My internet is being a bitch again.

Ashamed, or not?

Should i feel ashamed? or should i not? My english language is really really bad compare to my college friends. I can't even spell properly "INSECT"! Even a 5 years old kid can get that right, and look at me now, 21 and still couldn't get alot of words right.

Sometimes i wonder i should have gone to English school. I got into a Chinese school, friends laughed at me for not understanding Mandarin. Before enrolling into elementary school my mom bought me lots of english story books, my dad do not know how to speak Mandarin, so i communicate with my family in English (but that was 18 years ago). After enrolling to elementary school i feel so ashamed for not understanding Mandarin, and now it's the inverse.

Everytime i make an error in English in public, i'm not sure what am i feeling. Angry, disappointed, upset, sad, humiliated. Not sure if i'm angry with myself for not being good in English or being mad at my friends for laughing at my poor English, or being upset with myself for not writing and reading more. I seriously cannot take this, i'm not sure how am i going to work next time.

So small, i feel so small. why do people always laugh at someone else? 

Reaching

Not feeling very confident right now. Well, actually i shouldn't, i shouldn't be thinking all these while i in a hurry to finish off my assignments. Get a grip! No time to lose, finish them all like a cheesecake!!!!!!!!!!

Fired up.

I need sleep

I think i had been saying this countless times, i really really really................... want to sleep! I hate staying up late to rush my assignments =(

Force

This is really weird for me, but all these sadness suddenly transform into a really positive energy and am really feeling motivated to do my work.

Dear friend, how i wish i could talk to you more now. Although you know nothing much about my course, what you said that day really gave me the courage to move on. This feeling right now, no other people can make me feel this way. Thank you.

To be honest, i missed you, alot, but i shall try to move on. Losing this friendship, i cannot let this happen.

Monster

I bet guys think i'm a creep.

50-50

a.... I know it's not possible for me to start a relationship with a guy best friend. They said it's either you will be very happy together or it just kills that friendship that we shared for so long. You treat me as brother, i'm sure you will not feel the same way i did.

Had a crush on you and that was really really long ago and i thought i can forget about this completely. Felt things that shouldn't be, every single time, why, everytime you ask me out i will feel something, it's not fair. Although we don't meet that often, but you always ask me out during semester break, you're the one that makes me feel like i'm not left out. I'm not the type of girl you would look up to either. That day you showed it all, that we only could just stay as friends. 

No, i do not want to kill this friendship, i know you since elementary school, nope, not gonna kill this! I'm gonna hide away all these feelings, time will heal. Everything will get better in time. If i put effort to forget about it, it will fade. 

to myself: "you will be alright, stay strong"

My current mood: All in my head - Tori Kelly

2250

This is harder than i thought, although it's just 6 months.

Spring Onion

This is how my dad sees spring onion.

Today we had porridge for lunch, and porridge always can never go wrong with some spring onions. Dad told me that i should do something about spring onions where they really look like compression springs. i LOL-ed. My dad is just too cute XD

so close yet so far

i didn't know. i really didn't see this coming. I really shouldn't be thinking too much right now.

Stay or move forward

Happy new year everybody!

I hope i am motivated now to do my stuffs. Say goodbye to all the bad memories, learn from mistakes and will try to control my temper better.

So are you ready for 2013?